A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
read-o!
If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience!
I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it!
I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people!
Never try to drown your troubles... Especially if he can swim!
Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking!
Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out!
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station!
By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he's usually wrong!
Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn't have!
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works!
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning!
There are three sides to every argument: your side,my side and the right side!
An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing!
When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets!
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else!
They say hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Sardars again!!
EK DIN EK DAKU EK SARDAR KE GHAR MEIN GHUS GAYA AUR BOLA: "SONA KAHAN HAI?;
SARDAR BOLA: "ULLU KE PATTHE. PURA GHAR KHALI HAI,KAHIN BHI SOJA..!!"
AN ASTRONOMER WAS WATCHING THE SKY WITH A TELESCOPE.
A SARDAR WAS OBSERVING HIM... SUDDENLY A STAR FALLS. AFTER SEEING THAT SARDAR SAYS: "WAH KYA NISHANA HAI."
SARDARJI'S SON : "OYE PAPAJI.... BAHAR DARWAJE PAR KOI SWIMING POOL KE LIYE DONATION MANG RAHA HAI...."
SARDAR : "PUTTAR , USKO EK LOTA PAANI DE DE..."
BAAP BETE SE : "TUMHE KAISI BIWI CHAHIYE?"
BETA: "MUJHE CHAND JAISI BIWI CHAHIYE, JO RAAT KO AAYE AUR SUBHA CHALI JAYE."
ONE DAY, IN A SARDAR'S GARMENT STORE A CUSTOMER COMES IN & SAYS: "BHAISAAB! UNDERWEAR DIKHANA ZARA."
SARDAR: "OYE! SORRY YAAR - AAJ PEHNA NAHI!!"
SARDAR BOLA: "ULLU KE PATTHE. PURA GHAR KHALI HAI,KAHIN BHI SOJA..!!"
AN ASTRONOMER WAS WATCHING THE SKY WITH A TELESCOPE.
A SARDAR WAS OBSERVING HIM... SUDDENLY A STAR FALLS. AFTER SEEING THAT SARDAR SAYS: "WAH KYA NISHANA HAI."
SARDARJI'S SON : "OYE PAPAJI.... BAHAR DARWAJE PAR KOI SWIMING POOL KE LIYE DONATION MANG RAHA HAI...."
SARDAR : "PUTTAR , USKO EK LOTA PAANI DE DE..."
BAAP BETE SE : "TUMHE KAISI BIWI CHAHIYE?"
BETA: "MUJHE CHAND JAISI BIWI CHAHIYE, JO RAAT KO AAYE AUR SUBHA CHALI JAYE."
ONE DAY, IN A SARDAR'S GARMENT STORE A CUSTOMER COMES IN & SAYS: "BHAISAAB! UNDERWEAR DIKHANA ZARA."
SARDAR: "OYE! SORRY YAAR - AAJ PEHNA NAHI!!"
Saturday, May 26, 2007
laws of life
1. Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
2. Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number,you never get an engaged one.
3.Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flattire.
4. Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
5. Bath THEOREM:
When the body is immersed in water,the telephone rings.
6.LAW OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
7. LAW of the RESULT:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
8.LAW OF BIOMECHANICS:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
9.THEATRE RULE:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aislearrive last.
10.LAW OF COFFEE:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
2. Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number,you never get an engaged one.
3.Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flattire.
4. Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
5. Bath THEOREM:
When the body is immersed in water,the telephone rings.
6.LAW OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
7. LAW of the RESULT:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
8.LAW OF BIOMECHANICS:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
9.THEATRE RULE:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aislearrive last.
10.LAW OF COFFEE:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
From Mimi sometime back
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy....... The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climball the way to the topof the tree.
Share this with other women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked!
Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Share this with other women who are good apples, even those who have already been picked!
Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Sardarji joke...
Sardarji and his wife are traveling by car from Delhi to Mumbai. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired tocontinue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nicehotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours andthen get back on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a billfor Rs. 5000/- The Sardarji explodes and demands to know why thecharge is so high.He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth Rs. 5000/-When the clerk tells him Rs. 5000/- is the standard rate, The maninsists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the Sardarji, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.But we didn't use them", the Sardarji complains.Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows forwhich the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from, Hollywood andLas Vegas perform here," the Manager says.But we didn't go to any of those shows," sardarji complains again. "Well, we have them, and you could have", the Manager replies. No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the sardarji replies "But we didn't use it".
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the Sardarji finally gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it tothe Manager.The Manager is surprised when the looks at the check."But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for Rs.1500/.""That's right," says the sardarji, "I charged you Rs. 3500/- for sleeping with my wife."
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well," the Sardarji replies, "she was here, and you could have."
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a billfor Rs. 5000/- The Sardarji explodes and demands to know why thecharge is so high.He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth Rs. 5000/-When the clerk tells him Rs. 5000/- is the standard rate, The maninsists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the Sardarji, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.But we didn't use them", the Sardarji complains.Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows forwhich the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from, Hollywood andLas Vegas perform here," the Manager says.But we didn't go to any of those shows," sardarji complains again. "Well, we have them, and you could have", the Manager replies. No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the sardarji replies "But we didn't use it".
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the Sardarji finally gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it tothe Manager.The Manager is surprised when the looks at the check."But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for Rs.1500/.""That's right," says the sardarji, "I charged you Rs. 3500/- for sleeping with my wife."
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well," the Sardarji replies, "she was here, and you could have."
Friday, March 16, 2007
Men will be Men
Read Patiently.....
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.
She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man is impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.
Guess which lady he chose to marry?
Think like a man . . .
.........................................................He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!
Men are Men.... Obviously!!!
A man is dating three women and wants to decide which to marry.He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man.
She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man is impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts.
She gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market.
She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money.
Guess which lady he chose to marry?
Think like a man . . .
.........................................................He married the most beautiful one!!!!!!
Men are Men.... Obviously!!!
Sunday, March 11, 2007
my friend told me..
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
FOR EXAMPLE
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you ... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"
I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Thursday, February 22, 2007
For smart people!
See If You Can Figure Out What These Words Have In Common.......
Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Assess
You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer.Go back and look at them again; think hard.
OK... Here You Go.. Hope You Didn't Cheat.
This Is Cool.
Answer:
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at theend of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word.
Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Assess
You'll kick yourself when you discover the answer.Go back and look at them again; think hard.
OK... Here You Go.. Hope You Didn't Cheat.
This Is Cool.
Answer:
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at theend of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be the same word.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
5 rules for Good student
1) Never make noise in class respect the fact that others are sleeping.
******************************************************
2) Keep the college clean so stay away.
******************************************************
3) Take some fruits for the animals in the staff room.
******************************************************
4) Always take books cos u dnt get pillow to help u sleep well.
******************************************************
5) Never be early to class or else no one will notice u.
******************************************************
******************************************************
2) Keep the college clean so stay away.
******************************************************
3) Take some fruits for the animals in the staff room.
******************************************************
4) Always take books cos u dnt get pillow to help u sleep well.
******************************************************
5) Never be early to class or else no one will notice u.
******************************************************
Monday, February 12, 2007
Heights!
1. What is height of Fashion?
A. Dhoti with a zip .
************ ****************
2. What is height of Secrecy?
A. Offering blank visiting cards.
************ ** *************
3. What is height of Active laziness?
A. Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
************ ***************
4. What is height of Craziness?
A. Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
************ ***************
5. What is height of Forgetfulness?
A. Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
************ ***************
6. What is height of Stupidity?
A. A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
************ ***************
7. What is height of Honesty?
A. A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
************ ***************
8. What is height of Suicide?
A. A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
************ ***************
9. What is height of De-hydration?
A. A cow giving milk powder.
************ ***************
A. Dhoti with a zip .
************ ****************
2. What is height of Secrecy?
A. Offering blank visiting cards.
************ ** *************
3. What is height of Active laziness?
A. Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.
************ ***************
4. What is height of Craziness?
A. Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
************ ***************
5. What is height of Forgetfulness?
A. Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
************ ***************
6. What is height of Stupidity?
A. A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.
************ ***************
7. What is height of Honesty?
A. A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.
************ ***************
8. What is height of Suicide?
A. A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
************ ***************
9. What is height of De-hydration?
A. A cow giving milk powder.
************ ***************
Laws newton forgot to state!!!!
These are actually very true and I'm sure every one of us must have experienced it some time or the other...read on...
LAW OF QUEUE:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF THE TELEPHONE:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS:
The probability of meeting some one you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW of the RESULT:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATRE RULE:
People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
LAW OF COFFEE:
As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
MURPHY'S LAW:
What can go wrong, will go wrong!!
LAW OF QUEUE:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
LAW OF THE TELEPHONE:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get engaged one.
LAW OF MECHANICAL REPAIR:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
LAW OF THE WORKSHOP:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
LAW OF THE ALIBI:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
BATH THEOREM:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
LAW OF ENCOUNTERS:
The probability of meeting some one you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
LAW of the RESULT:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will!
LAW OF BIOMECHANICS:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
THEATRE RULE:
People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
LAW OF COFFEE:
As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
MURPHY'S LAW:
What can go wrong, will go wrong!!
Sunday, February 11, 2007
get a good laugh!
1980 girls: Maa mei Jeans pehanungi
Maa : Nahin beti log kya kahengey ?
2006 girls: Maa mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maa: Pehen Le beti kuch to pehan Le!
___________ _________ _________ _
Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono NE kapde tyag diye,
Ek NE desh ke liye,
Doosre NE Deshwasion ke liye!
____________ _________ _________ _
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
____________ _________ _________ _
Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'sa Law' kehta hai?
____________ _________ _________ _
Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhonRupaye fase huye hain.
____________ _________ _________ _
Generation Next Motto:
Na hum shaadi karenge,
Na apne bachchon ko karne denge!
Maa : Nahin beti log kya kahengey ?
2006 girls: Maa mein mini skirt pehanungi
Maa: Pehen Le beti kuch to pehan Le!
___________ _________ _________ _
Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
Dono NE kapde tyag diye,
Ek NE desh ke liye,
Doosre NE Deshwasion ke liye!
____________ _________ _________ _
Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
____________ _________ _________ _
Judge: U r crossing the limits.
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun 'sa Law' kehta hai?
____________ _________ _________ _
Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhonRupaye fase huye hain.
____________ _________ _________ _
Generation Next Motto:
Na hum shaadi karenge,
Na apne bachchon ko karne denge!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
3 things in life..
Three things in life that, once gone, never come back - Time, Words, Opportunity
Three things in life that may never be lost - Peace, Hope, Honesty
Three things in life that are most valuable - LoveSelf, Confidence, Friends
Three things in life that are never certain - Dreams, Success, Fortune
Three things that make a woman/man - Hard Work, Sincerity, Commitment
Three things in life that can destroy a woman/man - Alcohol, Pride, Anger
Three things in life that, once lost, hard to build-up - Respect, Trust, Friendship
Three things in life that never fail - True Love, Determination, Belief
"Life is short and sweet, so make others happy and never let anyonedown"
Three things in life that may never be lost - Peace, Hope, Honesty
Three things in life that are most valuable - LoveSelf, Confidence, Friends
Three things in life that are never certain - Dreams, Success, Fortune
Three things that make a woman/man - Hard Work, Sincerity, Commitment
Three things in life that can destroy a woman/man - Alcohol, Pride, Anger
Three things in life that, once lost, hard to build-up - Respect, Trust, Friendship
Three things in life that never fail - True Love, Determination, Belief
"Life is short and sweet, so make others happy and never let anyonedown"
Thursday, January 25, 2007
countries
H.O.L.L.A.N. D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.
B.U.R.M.A. - Between Us, Remember Me Always.
N.E.P.A.L. - Never Ever Part As Lovers.
I.N.D.I.A. - I Nearly Died In Adoration.
K.E.N.Y.A. - Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing.
C.A.N.A.D.A. - Cute And Naughty Action that Developed into Attraction.
K.O.R.E.A. - Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity.
E.G.Y.P.T. - Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!
M.A.N.I.L.A. - May All Nights Inspire Love Always.
P.E.R.U. - Phorget Everyone... Remember Us.
T.H.A.I.L.A. N.D - Totally Happy. Always In Love And Never Dull
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.
B.U.R.M.A. - Between Us, Remember Me Always.
N.E.P.A.L. - Never Ever Part As Lovers.
I.N.D.I.A. - I Nearly Died In Adoration.
K.E.N.Y.A. - Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing.
C.A.N.A.D.A. - Cute And Naughty Action that Developed into Attraction.
K.O.R.E.A. - Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity.
E.G.Y.P.T. - Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!
M.A.N.I.L.A. - May All Nights Inspire Love Always.
P.E.R.U. - Phorget Everyone... Remember Us.
T.H.A.I.L.A. N.D - Totally Happy. Always In Love And Never Dull
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
just joking!
1) What is the cube of 13?
Ans:It's SUROOR.. thats 'cause - TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR
2) Ek aadmi k 6 fingers thi,use log hanuman bulate the...batao kyon?
Ans:kyonki uska naam hanuman tha..
3) Who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
Ans:..........sita with ravan
4) What did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
Ans:…….Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya
5) What do you call a really colourful tamilian???
Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan
6) An elephant falls in luv with an ant.. but the ant's parents were against their marrige…guess y??
Ans:They gave a solid reason…**Ladke k daant bahar hain**
7) One sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..……kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda.. !
8) Full form of MATHS????
Ans:Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students…
9) What wud u call a girl who never laughs??
Ans: hasina
Ans:It's SUROOR.. thats 'cause - TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR
2) Ek aadmi k 6 fingers thi,use log hanuman bulate the...batao kyon?
Ans:kyonki uska naam hanuman tha..
3) Who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
Ans:..........sita with ravan
4) What did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
Ans:…….Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya
5) What do you call a really colourful tamilian???
Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan
6) An elephant falls in luv with an ant.. but the ant's parents were against their marrige…guess y??
Ans:They gave a solid reason…**Ladke k daant bahar hain**
7) One sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..……kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda.. !
8) Full form of MATHS????
Ans:Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students…
9) What wud u call a girl who never laughs??
Ans: hasina
Sunday, January 21, 2007
crazy!
DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Sardar here, again!
Q. What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A. Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q. What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper?
A. He already has one and he wants one.. he takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!
Q. How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
A. Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear.
Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
A. Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
Q. How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Q. Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
A. So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
Q. Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
A. They always forget the recipe.
Q. How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
A. He threw it off a cliff.
Q. What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.
A. Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q. What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper?
A. He already has one and he wants one.. he takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!
Q. How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
A. Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear.
Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
A. Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
Q. How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Q. Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
A. So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.
Q. Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
A. They always forget the recipe.
Q. How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
A. He threw it off a cliff.
Q. What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.
Paglami!
Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?
Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette
another deadly answer.
Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette.
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer....
Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)
"TIP TIP barsa Pani.
Pani ne aag lagayee."
us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee"..
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer....
Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalney lagega"!!
Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette
another deadly answer.
Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette.
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer....
Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)
"TIP TIP barsa Pani.
Pani ne aag lagayee."
us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee"..
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer....
Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalney lagega"!!
;)
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
lil stuff
1) Longest English Word:
Praetertranssubstan tiationalistical ly has 37 letters.
2) Book Without Letter "e":
GADFY, written by Earnest Wright in 1939 is a 50,000+ word book, which doesn't contain asingle word with 'e' in it
3) Word without Vowel:
RhythmSkyFryCry
4) Human Brain:
Organ of body which has no sensation when cut.
5) Crocodile:
Only animal & reptile which sheds tear while eating.
6) No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:
They are
** **B* Bee *
** **C* Sea*
** **G** * Zee*
** ** I* Eye *
** ** Q* Queue*
** ** R* Are *
** ** S* Yes *
** **T* Tea*
** ** U* You *
** ** Y* Why
Fascinating Animals, Birds, Trees:
1) SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.
2) A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.
3) DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.
4) A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tones of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.
5) The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of
plants & 1,00,000 other species.
6) The fierce DINOSAUR was TYRANNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharpteeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.
7) DEMETRIO was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This
acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.
8) CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal
by tearing off with its dagger like claw.
9) The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.
10) OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.
11) POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.
12) KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.
13) ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.
14) OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.
What are They :
1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say DADDY': LIPS
2) What goes up & never comes down:AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches:CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you: FUTURE
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves: ROAD
6) You can never wet it:SHADOW
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:YOUR NAME
In 24 Hours Average Human:
1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (including all liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times.
Praetertranssubstan tiationalistical ly has 37 letters.
2) Book Without Letter "e":
GADFY, written by Earnest Wright in 1939 is a 50,000+ word book, which doesn't contain asingle word with 'e' in it
3) Word without Vowel:
RhythmSkyFryCry
4) Human Brain:
Organ of body which has no sensation when cut.
5) Crocodile:
Only animal & reptile which sheds tear while eating.
6) No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:
They are
** **B* Bee *
** **C* Sea*
** **G** * Zee*
** ** I* Eye *
** ** Q* Queue*
** ** R* Are *
** ** S* Yes *
** **T* Tea*
** ** U* You *
** ** Y* Why
Fascinating Animals, Birds, Trees:
1) SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.
2) A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.
3) DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.
4) A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tones of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.
5) The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of
plants & 1,00,000 other species.
6) The fierce DINOSAUR was TYRANNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharpteeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.
7) DEMETRIO was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This
acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.
8) CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal
by tearing off with its dagger like claw.
9) The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.
10) OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.
11) POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.
12) KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.
13) ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.
14) OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.
What are They :
1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say DADDY': LIPS
2) What goes up & never comes down:AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches:CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you: FUTURE
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves: ROAD
6) You can never wet it:SHADOW
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:YOUR NAME
In 24 Hours Average Human:
1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (including all liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Newton in Romantic mood!
"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money. "
first law:"a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until and unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy."
second law:"the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance."
third law:"the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals!!"
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
long time..
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing.)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing.)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
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