3 things in life..

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back - Time, Words, Opportunity
Three things in life that may never be lost - Peace, Hope, Honesty
Three things in life that are most valuable - LoveSelf, Confidence, Friends
Three things in life that are never certain - Dreams, Success, Fortune
Three things that make a woman/man - Hard Work, Sincerity, Commitment
Three things in life that can destroy a woman/man - Alcohol, Pride, Anger
Three things in life that, once lost, hard to build-up - Respect, Trust, Friendship
Three things in life that never fail - True Love, Determination, Belief

"Life is short and sweet, so make others happy and never let anyonedown"

countries

H.O.L.L.A.N. D. - Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.
I.T.A.L.Y. - I Trust And Love You.
L.I.B.Y.A. - Love Is Beautiful; You Also.
F.R.A.N.C.E. - Friendships Remain And Never Can End.
C.H.I.N.A. - Come Here.. I Need Affection.
B.U.R.M.A. - Between Us, Remember Me Always.
N.E.P.A.L. - Never Ever Part As Lovers.
I.N.D.I.A. - I Nearly Died In Adoration.
K.E.N.Y.A. - Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing.
C.A.N.A.D.A. - Cute And Naughty Action that Developed into Attraction.
K.O.R.E.A. - Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity.
E.G.Y.P.T. - Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing!
M.A.N.I.L.A. - May All Nights Inspire Love Always.
P.E.R.U. - Phorget Everyone... Remember Us.
T.H.A.I.L.A. N.D - Totally Happy. Always In Love And Never Dull

just joking!

1) What is the cube of 13?
Ans:It's SUROOR.. thats 'cause - TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR

2) Ek aadmi k 6 fingers thi,use log hanuman bulate the...batao kyon?
Ans:kyonki uska naam hanuman tha..

3) Who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
Ans:..........sita with ravan

4) What did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
Ans:…….Aaila!!!!! kisne mera pocket maar liya

5) What do you call a really colourful tamilian???
Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan

6) An elephant falls in luv with an ant.. but the ant's parents were against their marrige…guess y??
Ans:They gave a solid reason…**Ladke k daant bahar hain**

7) One sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..……kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona honda.. !

8) Full form of MATHS????
Ans:Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students…

9) What wud u call a girl who never laughs??
Ans: hasina

crazy!

DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER
SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE

Sardar here, again!

Q. What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A. Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q. What will a sardarji do if he wants an additional white sheet of paper?
A. He already has one and he wants one.. he takes a photocopy of the white paper !!!

Q. How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
A. Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear.

Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q. What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
A. Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

Q. How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
A. Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Q. Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
A. So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

Q. Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
A. They always forget the recipe.

Q. How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
A. He threw it off a cliff.

Q. What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.

Paglami!

Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?
Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette
another deadly answer.

Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette.


If that was not enough, one more deadly answer....

Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)
"TIP TIP barsa Pani.
Pani ne aag lagayee."
us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee"..

If that was not enough, one more deadly answer....
Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & "jalney lagega"!!

;)

lil stuff

1) Longest English Word:
Praetertranssubstan tiationalistical ly has 37 letters.

2) Book Without Letter "e":
GADFY, written by Earnest Wright in 1939 is a 50,000+ word book, which doesn't contain asingle word with 'e' in it

3) Word without Vowel:
RhythmSkyFryCry

4) Human Brain:
Organ of body which has no sensation when cut.

5) Crocodile:
Only animal & reptile which sheds tear while eating.

6) No of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS:
They are
** **B* Bee *
** **C* Sea*
** **G** * Zee*
** ** I* Eye *
** ** Q* Queue*
** ** R* Are *
** ** S* Yes *
** **T* Tea*
** ** U* You *
** ** Y* Why

Fascinating Animals, Birds, Trees:
1) SNAILS have 14175 teeth laid along 135 rows on their tongue.
2) A BUTTERFLY has 12,000 eyes.
3) DOLPHINS sleep with 1 eye open.
4) A BLUE WHALE can eat as much as 3 tones of food everyday, but at the same time can live without food for 6 months.
5) The EARTH has over 12,00,000 species of animals, 3,00,000 species of
plants & 1,00,000 other species.
6) The fierce DINOSAUR was TYRANNOSAURS which has sixty long & sharpteeth, used to attack & eat other dinosaurs.
7) DEMETRIO was a mammal like REPTILE with a snail on its back. This
acted as a radiator to cool the body of the animal.
8) CASSOWARY is one of the dangerous BIRD, that can kill a man or animal
by tearing off with its dagger like claw.
9) The SWAN has over 25,000 feathers in its body.
10) OSTRICH eats pebbles to help digestion by grinding up the ingested food.
11) POLAR BEAR can look clumsy & slow but during chase on ice, can reach 25 miles / hr of speed.
12) KIWIS are the only birds, which hunt by sense of smell.
13) ELEPHANT teeth can weigh as much as 9 pounds.
14) OWL is the only bird, which can rotate its head to 270 degrees.

What are They :
1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say DADDY': LIPS
2) What goes up & never comes down:AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches:CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you: FUTURE
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves: ROAD
6) You can never wet it:SHADOW
7) What belongs to You, but used by your friends more often you do:YOUR NAME

In 24 Hours Average Human:
1) HEART beats 1,03,689 times.
2) LUNGS respire 23,045 times.
3) BLOOD flows 16,80,000 miles.
4) NAILS grow 0.00007 inches
5) HAIR grows 0.01715 inches
6) Take 2.9 pounds WATER (including all liquids)
7) Take of 3.25 pounds FOOD.
8) Breathe 438 cubic feet AIR.
9) Lose 85.60, BODY TEMPERATURE.
10) Produce 1.43 pints SWEAT.
11) Speak 4,800 WORDS.
12) During SLEEP move 25.4 times.

Newton in Romantic mood!

"Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money. "

first law:"a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until and unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy."

second law:"the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance."

third law:"the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals!!"

long time..

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(okay, so that would be a good thing.)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)