Curtain rods..

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit...
Repairmen refused to work in the house...The maid quit...

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and
would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...
.......including the curtain rods.

Heres one I got from the US

Prince Charles was driving up to meet his mother when he hears a loud Yip and he screeches to a halt and gets out. He sees that her Majesty's dog, a corgi, lying crushed under the rear wheel. He tries his best to revive the dog but it was too badly crushed and soon it died.

Devastated he slumps under a tree wondering that life has dealt him another mean low blow.

Just then, he sees this old lamp lying under the leaves and listlessly lifts it and give it a moody rub.

Out pops a genie that says, "Thanks, oh master! I can grant you any wish". Not believing his luck the Prince tells the genie about the corgi and begs him to restore him for his mother's sake.

True to his command the genie gets to work and after an hour of struggling with all his powers, turns to Charles and gasps sorry, oh Prince! I have failed. Are you sure?? the Prince asks. Yeah that's it, its beyond me. But wait I must do something for you before I go. Ask me anything else, anything at all.

Resigned Charles pulls out a picture of Camilla and tells the genie. "As everyone knows I was once married to the beautiful Diana who passed away.. now I am about to get married to this woman who I love. Oh genie can you make her look as beautiful as Diana. Or at least passable?

The genie takes a good look at the picture for long while and says "OK, lets have a look at that dog again!!!"

This is cool..

This is pretty neat.DON'T CHEAT BY READING DOWN FIRST!

step by step:
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1756 .... If you haven't, add 1755.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.




ans:
You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).

The next two numbers are : YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS!!

An Elephant meets an Ant!!

On Introduction:

Ant : Haathi tumhari umar kitni hai?

Elephant: Paanch Saal !!!

Ant : Paanch Saal aur itnay bade !!!

Elephant: I AM A COMPLAN BOY .

Elephant: Cheenti tumhari umar kitni hai ?

Ant: Tees Saal.

Elephant: Tees Saal aur itni chhoti?!

Ant: Haan .... I AM A SANTOOR GIRL.... MERI TWACHA SEY
MERI UMAR KA PATA HI NAHI CHALTA !